The View From The Bottom
by Forever Awesomer
Summary: Life hurts and you move on. But what about when you can't move on? What about when you find that one person that changes you and you can't forget her? What happens when your whole world fell apart because of one pink-and-yellow human? (A collection of one-shots about the Doctor and Rose)
1. I Believe In Her

**AN: This is a collection of one-shots about when the Doctor remembers Rose. May be some fluff moments between the Doctor and Rose, may be some reunion. I dont have anything really planed yet.**

**Song of the Update: Dead! ~ My Chemical Romance (nothing to do with the chapter)**

_**I Believe In Her**_

He looked down the hall. Door eleven. How fitting. The Doctor looked up at Amy and told her, without words, that he found his door. The look in his eyes told her that he wanted to be alone when he opened it, but she didn't care. He turned down the empty hallway and walked towards the door. He footsteps were long and measured, his breathing even. He was the picture of serenity, except to those who knew him. He reached the end of the hall and looked at the door handle. The smooth brass reflected his face and he stared at it a moment or two, wondering what was behind his door.

His thoughts raced in those few seconds, going anywhere from Daleks to the Master. His breathing slowed slightly and he reached his hand out to the door knob. The knob turned with ease and the door swung open.

What he thought was behind that door was about as far as he could get from right. A sob made his way out of his throat and a single hot tear traced its way down his cheek. How could he think it would be anything else? It made perfect sense, really, that his savior was also his greatest fear.

He took a step into the room. It was an average hotel room, but that wasn't what caused the reaction. What caused the Doctors pain was the pink-and-yellow human that sat on the bed. "Rose Tyler" he whispered the words like a prayer and she turned her head. What the Doctor saw caused him to fall to his knees as Amy ran up to him.

She tried to hold him, to whisper to her raggedy man that this woman wasn't real. That this woman with glowing gold eyes and a union jack T-shirt was not the person who the Doctor screamed for in his sleep at night. This woman wasn't the same person that he woke up crying for, but he couldn't hear her.

The Doctor felt Amy's hands on his arm, trying to lift him up. He heard her whisper soothing words in his ear, but Rose Tyler was walking towards him. Rose Tyler had all of the Time Vortex still running through her fragile human brain and she was walking towards him.

"You left me." It was a statement, not one of sadness or accusation, just an empty statement. Somehow that was worse than anger. Her voice had a strange echo to it, the same echo it had at the GameStation.

"I had no choice" his voice was broken, and lost.

"There is always a choice. You choose to leave me on a beach, you choose to leave me a second time and for that I will never forgive you."

"I couldn't watch you grow old, I couldn't watch someone I love die" somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that he had just told Rose Tyler that he loved her.

"I'm going to die because of you. I still have Bad Wolf in me and its your fault." her words were harsh but still emotionless.

The next time she spoke her words were loud and angry and hurt. They were also her last. "I loved you Doctor! I wanted to spend forever with you! You were the coward! You where the one that refused! You were the one that ruined my life then left me for dead! You, you, you. And guess what? I won't forget that."

Then she collapsed and her mind burned from the inside out. The Doctor watched helpless as his one, and only love died in front of him.

He knew that the Rose Tyler in the hotel room wasn't real. He knew that his Rose Tyler would never such harsh things, but he also knew that this Rose Tyler said nothing but the truth. When Amy asked him about the strange girl in the hotel room, the one he was afraid of, he smiled lightly and told her exactly what he had told the beast in the pit. What he told everyone when they asked about her, what he repeated to himself when things when bad and he didn't know what to fight for anymore.

_I've seen a lot in this universe. I've seen fake gods, and bad gods, and demi-gods, and would-be gods. I've had the whole pantheon. But if I believe in one things... just one thing... I believe in her._


	2. The Word That Meant So Much

**AN: So I decided that I like to write one shots :P This will be a bunch of one shots (all featuring Rose because I love her). If you have any ideas please tell me. I write these at midnight so im sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes (I seem to write amazingly at midnight, and horribly at noon, strange)**

**I will say this once so listen up, and listen close. I don't own Doctor Who, this is my disclaimer for the whole story/collection (I find disclaimers highly annoying)**

**Song of the update: Inside Out ~ Eve 6 (this song has nothing to do with the chapter I just love it)**

_**The Word That Meant So Much**_

Martha found him, head slumped down in defeat, using a Sharpie to trace a Galifreyan word on a door. She had never seen the Doctor like this, never seen him so empty, so broken. She hadn't even been looking for him, she had been wondering around, letting the TARDIS guid her through the labyrinth of corridors. She looked at the Doctor and knelt next to him. If he noticed her sudden appearance, he didn't show it. He just kept writing the same word, over and over again. Black, bold, Galifreyan letters covered the entire door but he kept finding new space to put it. She didn't know whose door this was or what the Doctor was writing, all Martha knew was that the Doctor was hurting, and that he needed her help.

Martha laid her hand on top of the Doctors, stopping him from writing any more. She took the Sharpie out of his trembling hand and slowly led him to the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table and she put a kettle on the boil before sitting down across from him.

"What was that" Martha asked, her voice low as if talking to a wounded animal. In a way, she was.

The Doctor didn't answer her. Martha noticed that he was tracing the word on to the table with his finger.

"Whose door was it?" She asked. Her voice still soft, but it was stronger than before.

"Rose Tyler" he answered. His voice barley a whisper.

Martha had heard that name before. She heard it when the Doctors woke up and screamed her name. She heard it when she found a jacket on the railing. When she opened up a certain book, a book mark still inside. She didn't know who it was, she just knew that that person caused the Doctor pain.

"Who is Rose Tyler?" Her voice was a whisper, but it was still strong. She was almost afraid of the answer, it was no secret that she fancied the Doctor and she was afraid that the Doctor fancied this 'Rose Tyler' person. When she looked into the Doctors eyes, her fears where confirmed. But his eyes also told her that he had lost this woman.

"Rose Tyler is the Bad Wolf, the Valiant Child, the Killer Of The Dalek Emperor, the Defender Of The Earth, the One That I Always Believe In, the Stuff Of Legends, Rose Tyler is gone." the tone of his voice broke Martha's heart, and she was mad at herself for being jealous of this woman. She obviously meant a lot to the Doctor, and she was, well she was just Martha Jones.

The kettle dinged (**AN: I don't know how kettles work so im guessing at the ding**) and Martha poured the boiling water into two cups, dipping the tea bags in each before heading back to the table and handing the Doctor a cup.

"Rose used to make tea for me, after I had a nightmare. She was never very good at it, always made it much to sweet, but it made her happy. I never understood why, I guess it was because it reminded her of home. One time she had a nightmare. The great Rose Tyler who could look a Dalek in the eye-stalk and tell it that she wasn't afraid had a nightmare. I tried to make her tea, ended up spilling sugar and hot water all over the place so we went to the library to read instead. She fell asleep in my arms that night. What I wouldn't give for just one more minute with her, just one more minute to finish that sentence." the Doctor had a far off look in his eyes as he talked. Remembering better times Martha figured.

They finished there tea in silence, a million questions still buzzing around her head, but she didn't want to push it. The Doctor was a closed up man and he had told her more than he ever told her before. They went back to their rooms after a soft "Goodnight".

Martha walked past Rose's door again, pausing at it. Wondering what that foreign word meant she asked the TARDIS to, just this one time, translate Galifreyan. Apparently the Old Girl was in a sharing mood because the words turned to english.

The sight made Martha want to cry, not from jealousy, but because she finally understood that she would never understand just how much the Doctor had lost.

On that door, the door of Rose Marian Tyler, from top to bottom and every space in between was one word. Just one word repeated over and over again. One word that meant so much more to the Doctor than Martha would ever understand, so much more to him because he never got the chance to say it.

Love.


	3. Letters To The Future

**AN: As much as I don't like AN's, I seem to write them a lot... Anywho, I have nothing to do except watch british TV on Netflix (which im doing while I write this, any Being Human fans out there?) so I'm writing this. I am officially the only one out of a five person family that isn't sick. Some one suggested one with Donna, and my amazing friend from Google+ gave me this idea :)**

**Song of the update: I Don't Care ~ Apocalyptica**

_**Letters To The Future**_

Donna heard a sniffling sound from the library. She was never much a fan of books, always preferred magazines, until she met the doctor. Now she realizes just how small those celebrities are, just how little the newest scandals matter.

She wondered down the vast empty corridors, a dim light was the only thing stopping her from walking into a book shelf. She heard the sniffle again, and saw the shadowy light flicker on the second floor to her left. Apparently the TARDIS didn't like the idea of the Doctor being alone at that moment.

Donna followed the flickering light and found the Doctor, slow tears tracing his cheeks in the pail light. He hadn't noticed her, he was to busy reading what looked like a letter. She walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, silently giving him strength. He didn't look up, but he wiped away tears.

"Where should we go today? I've always wanted to go to the planet Midnight, or we could visit Agatha Christie! Never met Agatha, I've met Shakespeare, even met good-old Charles Dickens..." His voice was strong and had a forced-happy tone to it, but Donna noticed how his voice trailed off at the end, as if he didn't mean to say any thing about 'good-old Charles Dickens'.

"No" She whispered, her voice firm and her grip on his arm comforting. He looked at her in surprise, evidently people didn't say no to him very often. "Whats wrong? You can tell me" Her voice was soft, a surprising character change from the loud (and slightly obnoxious) girl he had come to think of as a sister.

"I found" he choked slightly, trying to hold back sobs, "I found these letters. The TARDIS directed me to them and she..." another sob racked his body. "She left them to me because she knew she would have to leave. Why did she have to go Donna, why do they all have to go?" His voice when from soft and wavering, to pleading and, maybe, just a little scared.

"Who left you the letters, spaceman?" Even though she used the childish nickname she usually reserves for when yelling at the Doctor, her voice held nothing but sorrow.

The Doctor was still choking back sobs but he managed to whisper a name "Rose Tyler"

"What do the letters say sweetheart?" Her voice was quite, trying not to push him, but knowing that he had to talk about it. He didn't answer, he walked away, all traces of tears gone but the sadness still haunting his eyes. The letters were left, not forgotten, not abandoned, not even put aside, they were left to wait on the desk until the silent moments of peace granted him a moment alone to weep about forgotten moments.

Donna picked up a letter and read the fancy script printed on the paper.

_My dearest Doctor,_

_We met Sarah-Jane Smith today, lovely gall. I know what you see in her. I don't know what you see in me, though. A lonely shop girl from the estates that got her heart stolen by a mad man in a blue box. How did I deserve your love? And I know, I know, you might never admit your love. But ill tell you one thing. If you ever realize that I loved you just as much as you loved me, I want you to know that I know. You may have never said the words, those magical words I have waited all my life to hear, but you told me, every time you took my hand, every time you read to me, every time you became my shoulder to lean on, every time you opened up to me. You told me. So now, I'm telling you. Doctor, my beautiful wounded Doctor, I love you with all my heart, and I will never stop loving you if I live forever. I know that one day, I must leave you, only the future can tell us why and how, but I know that one day I must. I just wanted you to know, I wanted you to know that I love you too._

_RMT_


End file.
